The power of choice

I made a big decision yesterday. I decided that I no longer need my opiate antagonist therapy. I had planned to stop on my birthday, which just happens to fall on New Year's Eve, but I've been feeling so happy and settled that I knew I could do it. And so I did. The 'high' from … Continue reading The power of choice

Ineka

I have posted this before, but because it's 26 years today since my beautiful friend Ineka died, I thought I'd do a re-post. She deserves it. I was 10 when Ineka died and my life changed forever. There's so much to write about Ineka, but here's just one story. * I have always been captivated … Continue reading Ineka

Trapped, or The first and last time I’ll ever write about this

There are far more certainties in the world than death and taxes. There is bad coffee, love, storms in the summer, things you cannot have, and then there's choosing the wrong people for ourselves. In 2008 - not long after I had fought so furiously for my life and survived an eight-hour surgery where I … Continue reading Trapped, or The first and last time I’ll ever write about this

9 1/2 weeks, Princess Diana and trampoline competitions

I've always dreamed wildly; the dreams being intensely vivid ever since I can remember. I've even dreamed about people who have 'visited' me. When I was six years old, my friend Rachel floated through my window and sat on my bed. I knew she had been very sick, and possibly knew she was dying. Rachel … Continue reading 9 1/2 weeks, Princess Diana and trampoline competitions

The perils of writing a book that can (but doesn’t always) mess with your head

You know that you’re dedicated ready to be committed when you’re writing a book and the following things happen. Things that don't seem to perturb you, even though they should. - you conduct all business from bed. Phone calls, emails, conference calls, interviews, reading coroners reports and court transcripts, skype sex or any sex for that matter. - … Continue reading The perils of writing a book that can (but doesn’t always) mess with your head

No, it’s not chemotherapy, but …

... it's crushing exhaustion, aching bones, rigours, a barely there appetite, heart palpitations, diarrhoea, nausea, seizing muscles and I can't seem to get enough sleep. Most mornings it's a struggle to even sit up in bed, mix my antibiotics and push them through my CV line. 'Antibiotics?' I hear you say. Yes - antibiotics. Whenever … Continue reading No, it’s not chemotherapy, but …