Tag: regret

Post-script on ‘The day I met my donor’

A little follow up from yesterday. I’ve had quite a few transplant recipients contact me about how they are now going search for their donor and I want to give them some words of wisdom from my perspective. Tracking down your donor is greatly frowned upon due to privacy laws in Australia. These laws are in place for very good reason in order to protect families who have given the ultimate altruistic gift. The ultimate altruistic and anonymous gift. It took me seventeen years to attempt to find my donor even though I’ve always been privy to very specific information that 99% of recipients DO NOT have.

Please heed the following – this is a door that can so easily be opened, but it’s one that cannot be closed. Again – I was privy to very specific information about my donor and their family, so please consider your donor, their family and their grief as well as your own mental well being before you pursue the unknown. Often people end up finding the wrong person. Sad, but true.

Many people assume that it’s ‘easy’; that they’d love to find out who the person is/was who gave them a second chance at life, but I can tell you it is no such thing and I’m only on day fucking two. It is NOT easy. While I feel that I’ve found a piece of myself, I also feel that yesterday has painted my transplant journey in a far darker hue than I could ever have imagined, and it’s one of immense sadness that will now weigh on me for the rest of my life.

Just remember that I’m at the very beginning of this new journey and it’s one that may still go belly up. Perhaps I’ve been reckless – or perhaps I’ve been reckless in sharing my discovery. Sometimes a door stays closed for good reason.