Tonight as the waning moon floats between shelves of cloud - the stars liquid and alive - I will whisper, 'I am still here.' A bittersweet offering, but one I cast into the world as a call to arms. With each passing year, I harvest guilt, siphoning off grief as I pick the fruit and plant more seeds for … Continue reading A love letter to my lungs on this, your eighteenth birthday
In May, I was invited to speak at the P.A's clinical ethics forum for National Palliative Care week. This year's theme was 'Living Well with Chronic Illness', and before the forum, I met with three lovely ladies to mull over what I might like to discuss in my talk (sex? It was a unanimous YES). … Continue reading Speaking my truth (and a whole lot of fact)
Life. It gets in the way. That's why I haven't blogged for three months because there's been a lot going on. For the last month or so, I've been down with the lurgy (the flu), but after two courses of antibiotics, probiotics, lots of vitamins, good food and rest, I'm on my way to being back … Continue reading Where in the world are you, Carmen Sandiego?
A couple of years after my transplant, I was assaulted. Had the shit beaten out of me. What made it even more shameful, was that I was beaten up by a girl. Of course this rationale has evolved with the gradual unfurling of my life and hard won wisdom, so I know that it doesn't matter who … Continue reading When you get punched in the face
I made a big decision yesterday. I decided that I no longer need my opiate antagonist therapy. I had planned to stop on my birthday, which just happens to fall on New Year's Eve, but I've been feeling so happy and settled that I knew I could do it. And so I did. The 'high' from … Continue reading The power of choice
Today, my friend - the other Carly, Carly Findlay - wrote a shut up amazing piece about apologising and how she no longer wants to apologise for what is beyond her control. Shortly after reading Carly's piece, I saw the photo Annie Leibovitz took of Amy Schumer in all of her near-naked and non-apologetic glory. I … Continue reading Why I’m NOT sorry
Earlier in the week, someone asked me what I've been up to. 'Reading, writing, stuff ...' But mainly reading and writing, hanging out with my sister and my nephews, working, planning, walking and dreaming. It's true - I'm an abject failure of a social butterfly, although I did actually go OUT Friday night to the opening … Continue reading My summer of love
I never thought I would see another eight years. Really, I didn't. After my cancer surgery in 2007, my oncologist was certain that more cancer would grow, that the surgery I had wouldn't hold, and that I'd die. Thankfully that hasn't happened, and today marks eight years since I underwent the surgery to save my life. … Continue reading Eight years in remission – viva la vulva!
I'm trying to birth a poem at the moment, and I need to get away from words. Last week, I had so much going on with my addiction post that I didn't post Song of the Week number four. So, I've made it a goodie - 'Samson' by Russian singer Regina Spektor. Seriously, how did she get … Continue reading Song of the Week #4
Ever had a newborn baby put into your arms and breathed them in? Like really breathed them in as though it were your last breath? I've been thinking of experiences that trump being high, and this is the most powerful that comes to mind. I have four nephews and was lucky enough to be present (and I … Continue reading Trying to breathe when you are drowning