The power of choice

I made a big decision yesterday. I decided that I no longer need my opiate antagonist therapy. I had planned to stop on my birthday, which just happens to fall on New Year's Eve, but I've been feeling so happy and settled that I knew I could do it. And so I did. The 'high' from … Continue reading The power of choice

Why I’m NOT sorry

Today, my friend - the other Carly, Carly Findlay - wrote a shut up amazing piece about apologising and how she no longer wants to apologise for what is beyond her control. Shortly after reading Carly's piece, I saw the photo Annie Leibovitz took of Amy Schumer in all of her near-naked and non-apologetic glory. I … Continue reading Why I’m NOT sorry

My summer of love

Earlier in the week, someone asked me what I've been up to. 'Reading, writing, stuff ...' But mainly reading and writing, hanging out with my sister and my nephews, working, planning, walking and dreaming. It's true - I'm an abject failure of a social butterfly, although I did actually go OUT Friday night to the opening … Continue reading My summer of love

Public record denying my snowflake status :)

I just found this article by the fabulous Kathleen Noonan from 2008 where she describes me as a 'dirty-winged angel.' The photo below taken by my friend Alicia Alit-Trevatt who photographed my entire transplant surgery was run with the article. As it happens, I did get that tattoo Kathleen writes about. It reads 'a reminder … Continue reading Public record denying my snowflake status đź™‚

I am an addict

I posted a rant on my chasing away salt water page earlier today, much of which I've included in this piece. It involves the Cystic Fibrosis community - my community, if you will - and my burning question was this: when will people start taking responsibility for their lives? Why are there GoFundMe pages being created to ask for … Continue reading I am an addict

Happy Birthday, M

For M.E.B We became another death (the fulfilment of my internship). Like a false syncope, my grief would not let me claim you. You came to me with bleeding gums and a dent in your jaw, your broken gait like a barber cutting through walls of plasticine with blunt scissors. Bruised pride; your face a field of … Continue reading Happy Birthday, M

The night I lived again: part three

There is beauty in the ordinary. Waking up, making coffee, washing my hair, going to the post office. All ordinary things made extra-ordinary because I am here to do them. I woke early to watch the moon sink and the sun rise. The east screamed tangerine and the sun pierced the thin veil of sky with … Continue reading The night I lived again: part three

The night I lived again: part two

By the time it was definite that the donor lungs were a match, there would have been at least thirty-five people at the hospital – all friends and family. Even a friend’s boyfriend (now husband) had driven down from uni at Gatton, so he could be there for both me, his now wife and my … Continue reading The night I lived again: part two

Getting mouthy

Every morning of late, I stir in my bed until I feel that familiar pull on the roof of my mouth. Has someone thrown an ashtray in there? 'What is this?', I hiss Bellatrix Lestrange style, and with a swollen tongue and the inside of my mouth feeling akin to the skin of a cat (I'm more of a … Continue reading Getting mouthy

My night without armour

May-August 1998 I was in the dying room. You know the one. It's quiet. People slip in and out as though they were never there. Festering in a bed for three months, I had grown tired. My arms were the shape of soft baguettes, peppered with freckles like sesame seeds. Lips, a permanent shade of blue. Colourless … Continue reading My night without armour