Ch-Ch-Ch-Chaaaaaanges

Someone I've known for just shy of twenty years said something to me back in September, and I've been ruminating over it as I approach my fortieth birthday. We were talking about our inner voice. You know, about what we say to our selves in the quiet of our hearts; the things we think, but keep … Continue reading Ch-Ch-Ch-Chaaaaaanges

The places I go …

Wooloweyah 28.6.16 It is akin to a dream, this dense clump of trees unfolding before me, reaching so sharply into the sky. As I walk through the forest under canopies of palms and eucalypts and a discord of screaming birds, my feet arrive at a bog. I'm at the lip of a lake I cannot reach for … Continue reading The places I go …

When you get punched in the face

A couple of years after my transplant, I was assaulted. Had the shit beaten out of me. What made it even more shameful, was that I was beaten up by a girl. Of course this rationale has evolved with the gradual unfurling of my life and hard won wisdom, so I know that it doesn't matter who … Continue reading When you get punched in the face

I’m going to India!

So how's 2016 treating you so far? I'm deliriously happy to report that mine has begun like no other. Strange things are happening to my body and I'm rising earlier than ever (think 4-5.30am). I'm off the valium I was taking for my restless legs, and I think what has happened is that my body … Continue reading I’m going to India!

Oh my – we have a New Year IN our hands and it’s going to be radtastic!

Yesterday I turned thirty-nine - a stage of life I never thought I would or could ever reach from when I was was a little girl, to when I had my transplant and certainly after I survived cancer. Each year is such a gift, and age is a privilege. Lungs in perfect working order for … Continue reading Oh my – we have a New Year IN our hands and it’s going to be radtastic!

My new normal

I'm just about jumping out of my skin. I had my first good night's sleep in eleven days, so I'm feeling rested. I've been waking up around 4-5am, which is not the norm for me. I've never been a morning person, though when I first moved into my beloved flat I became one of those morning … Continue reading My new normal

The bitter taste of defeat and failure

Always expect the unexpected. Be prepared like a girl scout without the rules (but with the cookies). That's always been one of my life's mottos. After taking my last ever dose of opiate antagonist therapy last Friday, I was relieved when I only had some minor restless limbs when I turned in for bed that evening. … Continue reading The bitter taste of defeat and failure

Trying to breathe when you are drowning

Ever had a newborn baby put into your arms and breathed them in? Like really breathed them in as though it were your last breath? I've been thinking of experiences that trump being high, and this is the most powerful that comes to mind. I have four nephews and was lucky enough to be present (and I … Continue reading Trying to breathe when you are drowning

The night I lived again: part three

There is beauty in the ordinary. Waking up, making coffee, washing my hair, going to the post office. All ordinary things made extra-ordinary because I am here to do them. I woke early to watch the moon sink and the sun rise. The east screamed tangerine and the sun pierced the thin veil of sky with … Continue reading The night I lived again: part three

The night I lived again: part two

By the time it was definite that the donor lungs were a match, there would have been at least thirty-five people at the hospital – all friends and family. Even a friend’s boyfriend (now husband) had driven down from uni at Gatton, so he could be there for both me, his now wife and my … Continue reading The night I lived again: part two