Song of the Week #3

Teddy Pendergrass’s ‘Close the Door’. Judas Crust on a cracker, where do I even begin with Sir Pendergrass? I’ve had several lusty* adventures with Teddy, and am ever so grateful that I was introduced to Teddy – the Man, the God. Having had ‘Desiderata’ on repeat of late, I’m confident in my call that Teddy would have done a sublime version with his fine baritone pipes. Seriously – those things are like shotguns.

You see, Teddy has SO much love to give and yes, you can thank me later because I’m going to educate you about this Sir of a man all over and all over and over and over … Sorry – Teddy’s sweet words of love are like a parasite in the ear of my soul.


Dat white ensemble with ‘dem white stitched cowboy boots. Mmm-hmm.


From the song’s opening where Teddy strips off to reveal nothing but a wifebeater white singlet and half a tonne of gold draped around his neck, to the white dudes ‘me no comprehend’ face at 4:47 where Teddy sings ‘Say I know what to do with it, the lord knows what to do with it’, the song in its entirety is sex, sex, sex (as is the equally sexy ‘Turn off the Lights’.) Teddy was an extraordinary baritone and he really wanted to give it all to you. And I’m sure he did. To multiple (very lucky) women, because here’s the thing – Teddy feels every single note in his loins soul.

‘Come on, get closer and closer so close to me, let’s get lost in each other.’ Oh, yes Teddy. YES. He is swathed in loved during this concert and he knows it, but there’s no ego – just ridiculous talent – and you can see that he sings as though he’s truly living every moment. There’s such a tenderness in his voice, his words and his movement. It’s so artfully done and so far removed from the vulgarity we get dished up today. This concert was on his Teddy! tour in February 1979, and not long after he was – if a little shrewdly – doing ‘ladies only’ concerts which were the basis of the ‘women only’ shows of much later. No one had taken that concept by the balls before, but Teddy clearly saw a market for it, and now I’m thinking that one of these concerts would benefit me Dallas Green.

3:12 – another golden point in the song. You really DO blow my mind, Teddy Bear.

At 3:50, Teddy loses his shit completely, as does every hot-blooded woman and man in the audience.

Tragically, in 1982 at the age of 31, Teddy was in a car crash which left him a quadriplegic. While his voice never had the same power – his diaphragm and therefore his breathing was affected by the crash – by golly he could still belt out a tune. In fact, it’s a miracle he could sing at all, but get him in front of a mic and he could still bring in the ladies – and the rest. The New York Times did a lovely tribute after his death in 2010. This man was the whole package and his death was a loss to the world. I can’t think of anyone who has come close in recent times to the talent of Teddy. Maybe Ronn Moss? 😉

*if you want to hit my sweet spot, learn the song (including the thrusting), turn off the lights, so to speak and DO ME IT and some organ donation.

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