10.5.12

Candy in a bag –

recollections of a need

when my mind was an unswept room,

my body a husk, full of holes so thick

I thought that I would leak.

Needles in my bedside drawer

ampoules of morphine

ready to be snapped off

at the yellow line –

that crisp and thrilling pop.

No greater satisfaction;

nothing that can be surpassed.

Then the plunge of a needle

into flesh, digging down into muscle.

The other night, my body stockpiled opiates.

Nurses artfully depressed a syringe of Narcan

to bail me out of a deep unbreathing.

Two breaths a minute – my lazy lungs.

Nurses in a U shape around my bed –

‘you’re having some trouble breathing, love.’

Hell, I was between worlds dreaming

about tangerines and the biting aroma

of vodka, parcels and angels milk.

 

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